A nearly failed attempt to shop at Best Buy.

A hassle indeed. WTF is up with Best Buy? Todays experience reminded me why I don’t typically shop there.

The CD was on the shelves, buried behind 6 or 7 Aerosmith discs, but I wouldn’t find that out for another 30 minutes.

I wandered for about 5 minutes searching before a helpful, minimally helpful I’m afraid, young lady asked if she could help me find anything. Told her she could help me find one thing. I was standing with the new releases, and apparently that was quite a silly thing to do when looking for a new release. Long story short, she looked where I already looked then got a friend and looked in a secret spot after she checked the computer and found they had 2 in stock(hiding). Then while they kept digging through the secret cache the OCD clerk in charge of CDs/Blurays comes over and was quite a sight.

She asks me the name, and I tell her Adrenaline Mob. Then she walks to the new releases and about 4 or 5 times points to something and says, “Is that it? No, that’s (enter variable here).” Variables included, SoulFly, Meat Loaf, Adele(WTF??), I can’t remember the others because I was concentrating on not laughing. The lady was probably 45-55, had nitrile gloves on, a vest, skirt, and had no markings of a Best Buy employee at all. Then came my favorite part…

I’m following her as she pointed and recited her line. Then she stops and closes the distance quickly leaving only about 6 inches between our faces and whispers, yes whispers, “Is it… rap?” I nearly died laughing, but held it together. If the question itself wasn’t nonsensical enough the look on her face was just so magically comical. Then she asks the name of the album. “Omerta.” Her reply, “America?” Anywho, she can’t find the 2 discs either. I’m told they probably have it in the warehouse and I should come back tomorrow.

Having already blown 20 minutes on lunch from work without eating, I decided I didn’t want a repeat trip tomorrow so I went on the proverbial Easter egg hunt and after another 5 minutes found the discs behind Aerosmith. I held both discs aloft and shouted, “Found em’!” Miss OCD nearly sprinted to me to learn where I’d found the discs and even blessed me for looking on my own.

So… I tried to use certificates, in addition to the coupon and boy did that seem to insert runny shit in the cashier’s Wheaties. First, I put my phone with the CD and turned the phone toward her so she could see it. Said phone is a Blackberry Bold, and the picture of the coupon was quite small, I readily admit. She scans the disc and politely pushes my phone back to me. I ask if I will be receiving a new Reward Zone card as mine is now expired. “You’ll have to call them,” she replies bluntly. Now I pointed out that there was a coupon on the phone and she picked it up, looked at it, frowned then tossed the phone, yes you read that correctly; she tossed the phone, back to me and said quite angrily, “I need the number under the bar code. I can’t scan your phone!”

If the spirit of KeithK could’ve possessed me at that very moment I would have gladly taken a back seat and given him the controls. What a bitch she was and all I was trying to do was be a customer. I asked if she needed only the numbers under the barcode or if she needed the digit on the side then the under-digits then the other side digit. Looking at me as though a fully-formed, adult, male, reproductive gland jutted fully erect from betwixt my eyes she said, and I quote, “The numbers UNDER the barcode.”

Alright, here we go…. I begin, “00048…” She interrupts, “Nope, that’s not long enough.” I reply sharply as my patience has now abandoned me, “There are more numbers to come.” And what does she say?????? “I know, but that’s not enough.” Are you fuggin serious, lady?????? So I just blast through the numbers under the barcode, all 10 of them. “Nope, that’s not enough. Usually it starts with a number on the side, then 2 groups of numbers underneath the barcode, then another number on the side.” All I could do was stand and stare, momentarily, in silence. Then I wondered aloud, “Didn’t I begin this coupon-banter exchange with a question about which numbers were required? And wasn’t I told only the numbers beneath the barcode were required?” She has no reply and I read all the numbers and the $2 drops off the final price.

I tried to use both $5 certs I had, but was told I couldn’t because the total was only three dollars and some change. That I can understand so I went back and picked up the Essential Alice in Chains since I have none of their catalog and have been meaning to rectify that for quite some time. The same cashier was much more pleasant for this purchase. Was it really the coupon that set her pubes ablaze?;

When did it become so difficult to be a customer?

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